CENTER FOR CONNECTED LIVING, LLC
- Helping Families Connect in 3D

I have been in practice for over 35 years and have been around long enough to appreciate that each new generation of kids comes with its own struggle of the times. Over the past 10 years or so, the children in my former private practice in Olympia and, more recently, in my practice at Madigan Army Medical Center all too often were presenting with ever increasing behavioral dysregulation to include extreme tantrums, aggression to peers and adults, destruction of property, negative mood, threats to harm self or others, and self-injury. As I started to ponder what was going on, it has been increasingly clear that the common thread appeared to be an ever-growing consumption of media. I began reviewing the literature to see if anyone else was coming to the same conclusion and found seven seminal thinkers. This paper will summarize my thoughts as well as the amazing work of these seminal writers. My hope is that it will enable parents to appreciate that our children are in trouble, serious trouble, so deep in fact that, left unchecked, their futures and in some cases, their very lives, are at stake. But there is hope – new research is offering us a clear understanding on what is happening emotionally, neurologically, and psychologically to media addicted children and well-thought-out parental guidance and, when needed, treatment protocols are being developed and successfully implemented

When I entered my profession in Pediatric Psychology some 35 years ago, I would never have guessed that I would be writing a paper on pornography addiction after seeing so many of my patients' lives being derailed and even destroyed by the unsavory and soulless pornography industry. I have seen boys as young as 11 attempt to rape children as young as 3 after getting steamed up on porn, I have seen normal adolescent sexuality be hijacked and rewritten from something wonderful to something perverse, I have seen men go to jail and lose their careers, I have seen marriages fail – the toll is enormous and is mounting every day. The Utah state legislature has wisely declared pornography a national epidemic that is ripping the fabric of our society (Barta, 2018). As a result of these observations, I am writing this paper as a conversation to you, regardless of your age, gender, station in life, or career. You may or may not be struggling with pornography, but even if you aren't, you undoubtedly know someone who is and your knowledge of fact from fiction and how to become free can possibly save the mind, body, and soul of that person. This paper will summarize my thoughts as well as the work of some of the best seminal writers on this topic who rightly deserve credit as noted below:

Tornadoes ravage the land, hurricanes the sea – leaving paths of destruction wherever they go, but nothing compares to the tempest within, the one that tears at the soul and robs one of peace. This is a story of the pain of searing emotional dysregulation, one that does not respect age, gender, race, or station in life. It can start in infancy and, left unmanaged, has the potential for damaging or even destroying your life, and possibly even the lives of those around you. It almost destroyed mine and I will risk sharing some of my story in hopes that it might help you or the ones you care about and love. This book will help you understand the causes, effects, and remedies for emotion dysregulation, depression, and anxiety that wage war on the soul from a developmental trauma, epigenetic, and polyvagal theory perspective.